About This EP
All songs on this EP are about an internal tension in men.
Loverboy is a song I wrote to myself. Usually the word loverboy refers to a playboy / ladies man— but I wanted to reclaim it for a different, more literal interpretation: I call myself a loverboy because I possessed by a desire for love but often feel uncertain of whether I’m deserving of it. Loverboy opens by acknowledging the world is sad. It's easy to stay in bed. It closes by urging me on: Steve, there's still so much in the world for you.
Still In Love With You is about seeing a broken world and still feeling in love with it.
I think part of what it feels like to be a man is to want to project strength and confidence while inwardly managing self-doubt. I wanted to Manhood to be about that. So the narrator in the song swings between confident swagger and swarming self-doubt.
Obscene is about an isolating anger. It’s about wanting to hurt the world because you feel unwelcomed in the world.
Bert McKinley shot and directed two videos for Manhood (#1 and #2). I choose the mask for the videos because I thought it had swagger and confidence— and yet anyone can see it’s just a mask. Which means there’s something silly and posed about it all.
Lyrics
Loverboy
Called you up at 8:15
I could feel it bend and break
I’m tired of everything gone new
I’m tired of the human race
Fell back in a sleep again
I could feel it slip away
I’m tired of everything gone new
I’m tired of the human race
And if I make it back tomorrow
Please let your light be the signpost
Loverboy, there’s so much here for you.
Loverboy, there’s so much here for you.
Still In Love With You
I can feel the ground shifting underneath me
I can see it leaking in through the ceiling
Word by word, clap by clap, its a growing sound
Face to face, heart to heart, its all around
And I can feel the source draining to it’s empty
And I can feel it building up through the century
Life by life, day by day, I can feel it now
Piece by piece, night by night, it’s coming down
Heavens perfect dream
Is falling apart
Tearing at the seams
Broken from the start
Pulling at the roots
I miss you so much
The world was born when a great god shattered
Broke in a thousand pieces, and was scattered
Left alone, the lonely pilgrim gathers
Piece by piece, petals to a lost flower
I’m not a fool I can see what’s in front of me
Coming up through the soil of fallen trees
Life by life, day by day, I can feel it now
Piece by piece, night by night, it’s coming down
Heavens perfect dream
Is falling apart
Tearing at the seams
Broken from the start
Pulling at the roots
I miss you so much
Manhood
Hotel
Midnight
Liquor loose
Out of sight
Empty mind
Smash the night
Confusion too
It lives in you
I’m strong enough to run
With the bulls in the streets
Cause I’m like that, I’m like that
Speeding through the century
With my mind on the future
Nothing gets through my head
Don't lose faith
in a good life
in photos with friends
in love affairs
Don't lose faith
in yourself
it’s all for you
for no one else
I could drink the world dry
With an appetite like mine
Cause I’m like that, like that
I could step up to the chaos
Then pull myself away
It’s just easy to me
Don’t lose faith
in good food
in easy love
it’s all for you
Don’t lose faith
in the light above
the promise of
each rising sun
Forgive me love
I’ve become lost
I’m not as strong as I should be
Scared you’ll find out
Scared you’ll see
That I’m not as strong as I should be
Liquor time
Cynical
Easy love
Indisposed
Black dress
Slung low
Confusion too
It lives in you
I can do it my own
I’m not scared to be alone
Cause I’m strong as they come
I’m a big man, you can see my head pushes out
through the ceiling
of my five-floor, full home
Don't lose faith
in the good life
in photos with friends
in love affairs
Don't lose faith
in yourself
it’s all for you
for no one else
Forgive me love
It’s happened again
I don’t know why I frighten
The light has left my world again
And I’m retreating away from you
Wish I could put my head in your lap
(You don’t know me, I don’t know me)
And ask you to tell me comforting things
(You don’t know me, I don’t know me)
Should keep my chin held up and high
But I’m not as strong as I should be
Cause I’m tired
I’m tired
Cause I’m tired
And I’m tired
Cause I’m tired
I’m tired
Cause I’m tired
And I’m tired
Obscene
My blood bleeds blue
But I don't fall for you
My red heart true
When I call to you
I was in New York on a holiday
Pissing off the top of tall buildings
I didn't care who was watching
I was ugly and I was obscene
Millions and millions
Billions and billions
I was just waiting
They were pretending
I could just be alone
I never know
How far will this thing go
I was caught and they carried me
All the way up to the dead devil tree
Hoisted me up so everybody could see
They'd let me dangle and throw shit at me
Humiliation
Civilization
I can't be them
And they can't be me
I could just be alone
I never know
But this is how it goes
I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene
I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene
I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene
I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene
My blood bleeds blue
But I don't fall for you
My red heart true
When I call to you
I dreamed a dream
I was in Hollywood, I was obscene
They put a point subliminally
I put a sign in the sky there to see
Millions and millions
Billions and billions
I was just waiting
They were pretending
I could just be alone
I never know
How far will this thing go
Hit me with a switch constantly
Cut from the body of a red devil tree
I didn't hoot, holler or make a scene
Just let it raise chaos in me
Humiliation
Civilization
I can't be them
And they can't be me
I could just be alone
I never know
But this is how it goes
I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene
I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene
I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene
I'm the only ever
Lonely and obscene
Why should I stay here?
Knocking at your door
How many ways can I fall from you?
Remake and rebuild
Make a man out of me
How many ways can I fall from you?