Steve Benjamins

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Manhood

Hotel
Midnight
Liquor loose
Out of sight
Empty mind
Smash the night
Confusion too
It lives in you

I’m strong enough to run
With the bulls in the streets
Cause I’m like that, I’m like that
Speeding through the century
With my mind on the future
Nothing gets through my head

Don't lose faith
in a good life
in photos with friends
in love affairs
Don't lose faith
in yourself
it’s all for you
for no one else

I could drink the world dry
With an appetite like mine
Cause I’m like that, like that
I could step up to the chaos
Then pull myself away
It’s just easy to me

Don’t lose faith
in good food
in easy love
it’s all for you
Don’t lose faith
in the light above
the promise of
each rising sun

Forgive me love
I’ve become lost
I’m not as strong as I should be
Scared you’ll find out
Scared you’ll see
That I’m not as strong as I should be

Liquor time
Cynical
Easy love
Indisposed
Black dress
Slung low
Confusion too
It lives in you

I can do it my own
I’m not scared to be alone
Cause I’m strong as they come
I’m a big man, you can see my head pushes out
through the ceiling
of my five-floor, full home

Don't lose faith
in the good life
in photos with friends
in love affairs
Don't lose faith
in yourself
it’s all for you
for no one else

Forgive me love
It’s happened again
I don’t know why I frighten
The light has left my world again
And I’m retreating away from you
Wish I could put my head in your lap
(You don’t know me, I don’t know me)
And ask you to tell me comforting things
(You don’t know me, I don’t know me)
Should keep my chin held up and high
But I’m not as strong as I should be
Cause I’m tired
I’m tired
Cause I’m tired
And I’m tired
Cause I’m tired
I’m tired
Cause I’m tired
And I’m tired

I think part of what it feels like to be a man is to (want to) project strength and confidence while inwardly managing self-doubt. I wanted to Manhood to be about that. So the narrator in the song swings between confident swagger and swarming self-doubt.  

I choose the mask for the video because I thought it had swagger and confidence— and yet anyone can see it’s just a mask. Which means there’s something silly and posed about it all.

The video was directed by Bert McKinley and Karyn Guenther, Marcus Retterath and I are the characters posing in it.

Released Jan 2018.


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